Jeff Dinert TP5

Nakjoon and I worked on Wednesday, July 13th together, and met at starbucks on the Northside of town. He had sent me an essay he had written in an English class of is in Korea that he never had critiqued and wanted me to evaluate it and give him feedback. The essay was on the need to reform public administration and government in South Korea. It was a short essay and a subject that he obviously knew very much about, but it lacked a continuity of form, and had too many ideas for only a 800 word paper. We went over the grammar and I gave him options for sentences, asked questions about his usage and asked him to explain why one sentence was better than another? He knew the answer when he saw a more correct example, at least grammatically, but as with the form of the essay what I spent most of the session trying to tell him is that papers in our system, especially if very short, require focus and details about one main idea, usually a subset of another bigger arena, but they have to be focused. His essay was well thought out but jumbled and I said basically either make it a 5-8 page paper, or hone it down to one of the ideas within. He chose to hone it down, and when he corrects it or another essay and sends it back to me I'll post both for inspection. I think if he understands to keep his papers full of detail for each point and if short to be focused by one main point, instead of something broad like government reform, than we achieved a lot in that hour and a half.